How do you pass up the opportunity to spit blood in Joan Baez's face?

I've read Mark Twain. I've read Huckleberry Finn.

I think I earned the right to go out of the internet and see a guy get a chainsaw on the face.

Dude, my dad was drunk and my mom was dealing with it.

Guess what? I get raised by a cookie monster.

My cot looks like it's been in a hockey flight.

Time, my stupidity. It's at the speed of goddamn light. I got a bunch of the clocks.

Hey, what's happening at Mike Schmidt, 40-year-old boy podcast?

How are you?

I'm good.

I check with you early in the show.

I want to know how you're doing, because I can't continue, folks, if you're not feeling good. Then I would be like, well, you guys can get me at. I can't do a show for you if you're not feeling good.

I need you feeling good, Billy Ray, looking good, Lewis.

I need all those things from trading places.

I need you to have a Merry New Year if you're going to go that far.

I need to tell you that I remember the pavilion and we had big fun there.

Babuya, babuya, ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, Winthrop.

Like he was wearing my Harvard tie.

Like, oh, sure.

He went to Harvard.

Uh, trading place is a movie that gets lost in the shuffle, folks, because a lot of people remember coming to America, which is brilliant.

And it's Eddie Murphy doing 75 different characters at once, actually, which is hell on the makeup department.

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