I'm coming for all of you.

For all of you.

Right now there's a 15-year-old right now there's a 15-year-old sophomore in high school who has no idea they're studying nursing

just so they can wake my ass in 17 years i'm 50 and single that's a fantastic combination

i'm going to spend my golden years dating a handful of spit and a jug of astrolide

hey what's habit of mike smit 40-year-old boy podcast folks i my golden years dating a handful of spit and a jug of astroglide.

Hey, what's happened? I'm Mike Schmidt, 40-year-old boy podcast. Folks, you know, right now I'm dressed up in my podcast enclosed. There's no doubt about that. I'm sitting in front of a microphone

and a laptop at a desk and I'm bringing you a show. And that's what I prefer to be. I prefer to be a broadcaster, a performer, an entertainer, if you would. But as we all know,

I'm an Uber driver. I don't like to identify myself as such, but at the same time I have to realize

that that's kind of the thing I do more often than anything else these days. You know, I've got my

fingertips all in show business, writing, performing, and all of those things,

and podcasting, comedy, and I have my fingers in those.

But I think the thing I grip most often with the full palms of my hands is a steering wheel.

So I have to recognize that it's a huge part of my life.

And unfortunately, it bleeds over to this show a lot more often than I thought it would or it should.

But it's because I wind up doing it quite often, and that's where most of my life takes place now, inside of a Toyota Camry.

And I try to invite you in there with me all the time to tell you about, hey, guess what?

Last week, I drove 10 days in a row.

You know, I drove all of last week, and I drove three days prior to that.

To the point where this week, I've just been fucking numb.

Like, I haven't done a goddamn thing.

I've just spaced out.

...