How do you pass up the opportunity to spit blood and Joan Baez's face?

I've read Mark Twain. I've read Huckleberry Finn. I think I earned the right to go out of the internet and see a guy get a chainsaw on the face. Dude, my dad was drunk and my mom was dealing with it. Guess what? I get raised by a lucky monster.

My con looks like it's been in a hockey flight. Time is stupidity. It's at the speed of goddamn light.

I got a bunch of the clocks.

Hey, what's happened to Mike Schmidt, 40-year-old boy podcast?

Episode 42, episode Jackie Robinson, as I like to call it.

I don't really like to call it that, but I figured I'd call it that because I got a call from Major League Baseball asking me to retire this episode.

So I'm going to hang it on the wall.

We're going to put it up there.

You can stare at this number forever.

No one will ever listen to this episode again.

After you hear it this one time, you know what?

Actually, I'm going to play this every year.

This will be now the Evergreen episode 42.

I'm retiring in honor of our boy Jackie, our boy Jackie Robinson. And now that I think

about probably calling him my boy is not the smartest thing I've ever done in my life. The

best baseball player ever named Jackie Robinson to wear number 42. That's who he is. I don't know.

That's not a lot of superlatives, quite frankly. I was going to call him the best ball player ever,

but he's clearly not. He's not that.

He's an amazing man and unbelievable inspiration.

But Willie Maves and Barry Bonds and Mike Trout and, of course, Hank Aaron, those guys all, and Joe DiMasio, perhaps.

They all have a beef, if you want to go ahead and say that Jackie Robinson is the best guy of all time.

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