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The 40 Year Old Boy

Episode Forty-One, Year Eleven

The 40 Year Old Boy

Misfit Toys

Mike Schmidt, 40yearoldboy, Society & Culture, Comedy

4.5626 Ratings

🗓️ 23 May 2019

⏱️ 114 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

...And You Will Know Me By The Trail Of Karens

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

How do you pass up the opportunity to spit blood and Joan Baez's face?

0:28.6

I've read Mark Twain. I've read Huckleberry Finn. I think I earned the right to go out of the internet and see a guy get a chainsaw on the face. Dude, my dad was drunk and my mom was dealing with it. Guess what? I get raised by cookie monster.

0:32.6

My con looks like it's been in a hockey flake. Time by stupidity. It's at the speed of goddamn light. I got a bunch of the clocks. Hey, God, looks like it's been in a hockey fight. Time, my stupidity. It's at the speed of goddamn light.

0:38.2

I got a bunch of the clocks.

0:41.1

Hey, what's Abbot, and Mike Schmidt, 40-year-old boy podcast?

0:44.0

We're here, we're queer, get used to it.

0:45.9

All right?

0:46.6

You quit your bitch, and I don't want to hear you step off and say you're not used to it at this point because I'm here to tell you right now you need to fucking get used to it. It's part of the jingle. It's part of the phrase. It's part of the saying. We're here. We're

0:56.8

queer. Get used to it. Now, part of that's not true. How about this? We're here. Oh, dear, get used to it.

1:04.8

How about that? We take out the I'm queer part because I'm not. Now that that's a bad thing, certainly. And now I've got to do that thing where I've got to go run it back and go,

1:13.1

hey, no, I didn't mean that that's a bad thing.

1:16.0

I meant we're here and then, oh dear, and then get used to it.

1:19.3

Like, you should get used to it.

1:20.2

But I don't really mean to offend you and tell you that you should get used to it. long and get together and I got to be riding a fucking king now because what the fuck man Jesus Christ it's a fucking comedy show step off get off my dick uh that seems aggressive

1:35.6

and weird I don't mean that certainly because again I'm just you know I'm talking here

1:39.2

all we're doing is talking now we're doing I I am talking into a microphone and you're listening

1:43.0

on the other end you're jammed into the iPod vagina.

1:45.5

I'm traveling all the way up your ears all the way up the cord directly into your

1:48.9

fucking head.

1:51.0

Unless you've got those fancy ear pods.

1:53.0

Is that what they're called?

1:53.7

Because I have ear buds courtesy of bows.

...

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