How do you pass up the opportunity to spit blood in Joan Baez's face?

I've read Mark Twain.

I've read Huckleberry Finn.

I think I earned the right to go out of the internet and see a guy get a chainsaw on the face.

Dude, my dad was drunk and my mom was dealing with it.

Guess what?

I get raised by a cookie monster.

My con looks like it's been in a hockey flight.

Time, my stupidity.

It's at the speed of goddamn light.

I got a bunch of the clocks.

Hey, what's happening?

I'm Mike Schmidt, 40-year-old boy podcast.

Does the show sound different?

It should.

I'm in a cavernous space for one thing.

And also, it's, I'm in Canada.

So the exchange rate on the show, I might sound a lot less or I might sound more. I don't know what the exchange rate is. I went for an exchange rate joke without knowing the exchange rate. Listen, amateurs don't do that. As a professional, I can tell you right now, do not wade into the exchange rate waters without having a solid idea of what the exchange rate could possibly be. Because then you wind up with what we have here with me stepping on my dick on a live broadcast in a cavernous space, in a Canadian space, a cavernous Canadian space, covered

in snow and moose.

There are no moose here.

There should be.

I would love to see a moose or a mease.

...