Episode 89 - Dick on Getting Caught

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Dickmasterson, Biggestproblemintheuniverse, Comedy

4.8 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 13 February 2018

⏱️ 138 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

People who ignore "The Zipper", the mystery of my broken toilet, Smiley my broken handyman, "My House" TV has turned me into a dog, Nick Rekieta calls in with some Hot Goss about Maddox's maybe two or three time DUI lawyer "Dog Bite" Kevin Landau, Asterios' Cernovich sex tape, a special erotic story for Valentine's Day, Sean learns to ride a bicycle, The Skate Mate, being on The Milo Yiannopoulos show, the feminist caliphate, drunk dogs, and the nature of getting caught; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Presenting Dick.
0:03.0	Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick.
0:08.0	Dick. Dick is a Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick. Dick.
0:11.0	Dick. Dick. Yeah, welcome to Dick. You want to Dick, you need to Dick, you love Dick. It's the only show where everything is a lawsuit coming to you from a mountain bunker deep in the heart of the city of failure that is now protected by a security grid.
0:34.0	Sean.
0:35.0	Yeah?
0:36.0	Did you see my security system out front as you were walking on to my compound?
0:39.0	I saw a very odd looking ladder leaned up against the front of the house.
0:43.2	That's a trick.
0:44.2	That's a trick ladder.
0:45.4	To get people to get curious folk to climb up on the roof thinking that they might jet-pack
0:50.8	down in the back and assault me in some way.
0:53.5	Oh, is that right?
0:54.1	Yes.
0:54.5	Are you hiding the ground jewels?
0:56.4	And then on the top, a top there's a thing that you stare into
1:00.2	and it tells you what your life could have been like if you would have lived up to your potential.
1:04.0	Oh, and then you just do a back flip off the roof and kill yourself.
1:07.0	Oh, yeah, that would work for me.
1:09.0	It's the ultimate, ultimate in home security.
1:12.0	Yeah.
1:14.0	What you could have been.
	...

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