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Hank Patterson's Outdoor MisAdventures

Episode 707 - April Fool Fools

Hank Patterson's Outdoor MisAdventures

Travis Swartz

Comedy, Sports, Wilderness

4.9914 Ratings

🗓️ 9 April 2026

⏱️ 79 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week Hank and Kevin are going on and on about April Fools jokes, social media junk, missing brains in Malta and so much more. It's a mess! Enjoy! 

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Okay.

0:01.0

All right. Well, here we go. Here we go. What did I do today today? Bam. Yeah. Got the window open behind you so I can see out, I can see out to the golf course, to the golf course in my... It's no big deal. I live on a golf course. I wish it was a gated community so I could be a real douchebag.

0:21.0

Right.

0:21.3

I'm only kind of a douche because I live on a golf course. What's going on with the lawnmower? You can't pick up grass clippings? Or what's going on there? Yeah, you know, here's the thing. I shouldn't have to mow the yard right now. And so what Kevin's referencing is the fact that you, There's a bunch of grass clippings that I didn't rake up.

0:41.0

And the bag didn't catch them.

0:43.7

And so there's grass clippings on the yard.

0:46.3

And it's on the side yard.

0:48.7

The side yard at my house is an absolute waste of space.

0:53.0

There's nothing there.

0:54.1

You want to know what I want to get. I want to get one of those, like a 15-foot hot tub thing. Oh, yeah. But it has the current and you can swim. Okay. What is that? Like an infinity pool? Or is that something else? Whatever it is. I think it's something like. The infinity pool is like the one that looks like it doesn't have an edge. That goes like you're, yeah, if you're super rich and you have a house overlooking, you know. You know, the canyon. The canyon. Whatever you have that, right? So, okay, so maybe it's not that. Whatever it is, the thing where you've got the current and you can swim.

1:28.3

Like a lazy river?

1:29.6

No, no, you got to swim.

1:31.7

Sure, yeah.

1:32.1

You get some exercise.

1:33.2

Oh, yeah, okay.

1:34.0

So you're, you know, you're doing it.

1:35.8

Resistance.

1:36.5

Yes.

1:36.7

A little resistance for the swimming.

1:37.6

It causes a, yeah.

1:39.3

You swim in place.

1:40.7

Yeah.

...

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