Welcome to Just Break Up, the podcast about love, heartbreak, and all the relationship of advice you don't want to hear.

My name is Sierra de Mulder.

And I'm Sam Blackwell.

And today, we're going to answer a letter from somebody who wishes her relationship had ended with more respect and dignity.

But before we begin, we just want to give you our Surgeon General's warning, which is that Sierra and I are not licensed mental health practitioners.

Correct. We are not professionals. We are not trained in any of this. So please take our advice as you see fit. We're only here to offer our humble musings to hopefully shed some understanding and maybe some laughs about the incredibly rewarding but mostly confusing experience that is love.

All right. Let's get into today's letter. So today's letter comes from Moneing Myrtle,

who's pronounced her she her, who is writing from Hogwarts second floor girls laboratory.

All right. This is going to be a doozy. I've been in a relationship with my now ex-boyfriend,

he, him for four years. We are both 30. We've always had pretty bad fights that we've tried

our best to work through and definitely had our rough spots. Context. For the last year, he's

been in a major career transition. He's never been financially stable the entire time that I've

known him. And now he's pursuing acting,

which comes with even more uncertainty that he finds exciting.

While I've been happy for him and supported him throughout, I also felt deep anxiety about the lack of progression in our relationship and what this change would mean for us both.

We've already talked about moving in together and getting married multiple times.

He said that he wanted those things, but I was always the one bringing them up or trying to make

plans. When I raised this again before the holidays, he got defensive and said that because we

still fought, he wouldn't move forward anytime soon and implied that I was the one who needed to

change. I felt this was unfair, expressed this,

but realized this conversation was going nowhere, as usual, and dropped it. But privately,

I started to feel like I was being strung along, that he loved me but didn't actually see a

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