Welcome to Just Break Up, the podcast about love, heartbreak, and all the relationship advice you don't want to hear.

My name is Sierra de Mulder.

And I'm Sam Blackwell.

And today we're going to answer a letter from somebody who can't understand why her boyfriend's parents don't have the capacity to improve that she does.

But before we begin, we just want to give you our Surgeon General's warning, which is that Sierra and I are not licensed mental health practitioners.

Correct. We are not professionals. We are not trained in any of this. So please take our advice as you see fit. I mean, honestly, we're too Geminized for Christ's sake.

We're only here to offer our humble musings to hopefully shed some understanding and maybe some laughs about the incredibly rewarding, but mostly confusing experience that is love.

All right, today's letter is coming to us from Fixer Upper, whose front answer, she her,

who is writing to us from The Void.

Dear Sam and Sierra, first and foremost, thank you for your podcast.

Over the years, I've listened to you

offer boundless compassion and hold space for complexities that so many letter writers write in on.

In a strange but meaningful way, I've come to think of you as companions on this winding

path called life. That is adorable, and I'm deeply, deeply honored by that.

The question I bring you today centers around autonomy, or more specifically, how much we let the

people we love live their own lives. My boyfriend and I have been together for over three years

and I love him deeply. He is kind, funny, genuinely invested in seeing me become the best version of myself.

One way this shows up is through his passion for fitness, which he's shared with me.

Before meeting him, I considered myself fairly non-athletic and intimidated by fitness spaces.

My routine consisted of yoga, running, and walking, and I was content with that.

When he first suggested changes in how I moved my body or what I ate to build strength,

I felt resistant.

...