Welcome to just break up the podcast about love, heartbreak and all the

relationship advice you don't want to hear. My name is Sierra de Mulder and I'm

Sam Blackwell and today we're going to answer a letter from somebody who's

wondering how to prepare for the grief of her current breakup.

But before we begin, we just want to give you our Surgeon General's warning, which is that Sierra and I are not licensed mental health practitioners.

Correct, we are not professionals. We are not trained in any of this, so please take our advice as you see fit.

We're only here to offer our humble musings to hopefully shed some understanding and maybe some laughs about the

incredibly rewarding but mostly confusing experience that is love.

All right let's just dive into today's letter it's from preparing to be sad. Whose pronouns are she her who is

writing to us from the crack between the couch cushions with all the grimy coins.

Oh.

Dear Sam and Sierra, I'm a woman approaching 30, and I just broke up with my boyfriend of five years.

To make a long story short, I spent a lot of time in this relationship questioning whether I wanted to be in it.

My partner and I love admire and support each other and have many fun times together.

We brought a lot of joy into each other's lives.

We also had a lot of big and compatibilities

in terms of life goals, habits, and sexual desires.

My internal script for the last one to two years

was something like, I love him but I don't know if I want

to be with him. But our life is so good and I'm better off for being with him but I'm also

not happy but if I was a better partner I wouldn't feel this way and on and on and on

after years of questioning I realized I would never be able to wholeheartedly commit to this relationship and I told him we needed to break up.

...