Episode 42 – Dick on Timeout

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Dickmasterson, Biggestproblemintheuniverse, Comedy

4.8 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 21 March 2017

⏱️ 112 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Download the MP3 The Billboard Prank, squirrel farts, getting locked out of Twitter, Philly sells out in three hours–SO WE GET A BIGGER VENUE, manspreading at the gym, Larry’s secret petting zoo, cat yoga, party ghosts, time wasters and the time police, hockey, real talk with customer service, the mid-life crisis of fifth graders, Power … Continue reading "Episode 42 – Dick on Timeout"

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Presenting Dick. Dick. Yeah! Yeah, welcome to Dick. You need Dick, you love Dick, you want Dick, you got it, it's the only show where everything in the world is a contest coming to you live from a mountainside bunker in the city of
0:39.6	failure Los Angeles I'm your host Dick Masterson. With me as always as Sean.
0:44.3	Hello Dick. I like that City of Failure thing. You like it? I like it.
0:47.4	It. L.A. is the City of Failure.
0:49.2	Why? You made it up, didn't you?
0:50.3	LA is the City of Failure because it's, it like this. It's a hellhole. All of
0:57.3	Los Angeles is a hellhole because people with
1:03.7	with mental problems with rampant narcissism with with the level of narcissism in their DNA
1:07.6	that is that is so toxic that it is actually a virus true that it is actually a virus.
1:12.6	True.
1:12.9	That it is like a, these people who carry this
1:17.1	virulent stream of narcissism moved to LA
1:21.7	and have turned it into a city of desperation and failure that you can feel when you walk outside.
1:30.0	If you go, if you walk around LA you can feel it.
1:34.0	It is we, there is no Terra Firma in Los Angeles.
1:37.0	There's no ground. The entire city is on an ocean of failure that just drips out of a hole in these people's souls and becomes like a tar pit,
1:50.0	pulling everyone in the town down.
1:53.0	And we can see that from the mountain bunker.
1:55.0	We can see this.
1:56.0	With me today's Larry.
1:58.0	Larry, how you doing? I'm doing great, Dick.
2:00.0	How are you? Good.
	...

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