4.7 • 815 Ratings
🗓️ 23 February 2024
⏱️ 63 minutes
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What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the word “criticism?” How you handle criticism is not just a measure of your patience, it’s also a huge growth opportunity. Dr. Henry Cloud explains how changing the frame through which you look at criticism can greatly improve your relationships and your performance. How you feel about criticism can also tell you a lot about your character. Getting to the next level in your life involves improving on things or adding new things to your life, whatever they may be. If you are not willing to find out where you can improve from the outside it’s going to be very difficult to verify real changes. Dr. Cloud wants you to think about your reactions to feedback and how you can steer away from defensiveness. Not all criticism is warranted or justified, but when it’s coming from a trusted source that wants the best for you it can be a blessing and chance to change for the better.
Dr. Cloud answers this write-in question:
I have a getting-started problem. I am a 37 year old male and I know that I need to make changes if I want to live the kind of life I always imagined living. I could lose a few pounds. I could take my dating relationships more seriously. I could be more ambitious at work. I could play a few less video games and drink a bit less. But I don't, and feel like I'm always living in tomorrow. I come up with plans but I never get started. Is there something I can do today that will make the kind of difference that I'll feel immediately, and might help me get more motivated to get to work?
Heather needs strategies for staying emotionally centered when things get heated with family members she works with.
Regina has a daughter who is a pastor in Sweden. How can she make her relationship with her daughter work when her daughter is showing signs of contempt toward her at every turn?
Being estranged from someone you once were close to can be a painful reality to live in. Should you reconcile? When? How? How can we fix the pain of estrangement? Does it get easier? What is my role in this process? What is mine to own? What should I do?
Dr. Cloud wants to help you navigate this terrain. Go to https://boundaries.me/reconcile to find out more about the 2 hour live webinar with Dr. Cloud.
If you want to call in or watch the show live, subscribe on YouTube and click the Bell icon. It will alert you whenever we go live and will be your cue to call in and ask Dr. Cloud for advice. https://youtube.com/drhenrycloud
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
0:00.0 | Hey guys, welcome to the Dr. Cloud Show. |
0:10.0 | I think we are live now. |
0:12.0 | And I'll throw a word out there. |
0:16.0 | And I want you to listen to this word. |
0:18.0 | And I want you to monitor your internal world when I say this word. |
0:25.1 | Criticism. |
0:27.3 | Now, think of receiving criticism. |
0:34.4 | If I called you and said, hey, I got some criticism for you. |
0:42.3 | What would your internal response be? Now, forget whether or not it's good or bad or my motives or the way I'm going to deliver it, |
0:49.3 | or am I for you or against you, we're going to get in and all that. |
0:52.3 | But first of all, let's ask the question, how, when I stand on the planet, how am I oriented |
0:59.7 | towards receiving feedback about myself or something I'm doing or something I did or something |
1:08.3 | I'm thinking or whatever it is? |
1:11.1 | You know, we have feelings, thoughts, attitudes, behaviors, talents, choices, |
1:20.1 | all these things that we do in our lives. |
1:23.2 | And those are generally observed or felt in some way by others, unless we are a forest ranger, |
1:32.8 | you know, live on a mountain somewhere. |
1:36.4 | When we do things, feel things, express things, choose things, execute on things. |
1:43.0 | Generally, there's a ripple effect, and somebody at least sees it if they don't feel it. |
1:49.1 | And sometimes they look at it and go, I have some thoughts about that and they're not positive. |
1:57.0 | All right. Well, how do you feel about that? How we feel about criticism can tell us a lot about our own character makeup. |
2:07.9 | Now, by character, I don't mean just moral character. I mean, how you're glued together as a person. |
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