You know, on the surface, we're talking about sex. Do you want to have sex? No, I don't want to have sex.

Yes, I do want to have sex. But what we're really talking about on top of the sex is also the

emotional intimacy, that feeling of closeness, of connection, of feeling important to each other,

prioritized by each other.

Hello and welcome to the Pillotox podcast. Where are your hosts, Vanessa?

And Zander Marin. I'm a sex therapist with over 20 years of experience.

And I'm just a regular dude. We share the ups and downs in our relationship while giving you

step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Make sure you subscribe for your weekly double date

full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what

really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you'd had.

I hate to do this to you babe, but there is a perfect song that you could sing.

I want you to want me. I need you to want me. No, but oh so close. I thought you were going to get

more than one line of a song. What's not? What I miss. I need you to need me. I need you to need me.

Do you know the third line? No, as I was singing, I need you to want me. I can hear it in my head,

but I don't know how to say it. The third line I think is I'd love you to love me.

Oh, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah, what was that from? Never been kissed? Did they have that in

that movie? No idea. Oh god, that was such a classic, Drew Barrymore. Good movie. Anyways,

today we are talking about I want you to want me, what it feels like to want your partner to

desire you to want to feel desired by your partner. This topic was really inspired by a couple

that I saw years and years ago. It was a male and female couple. This was back when we were living

in San Francisco. I was seeing people in an office. Wow, my gosh. Shocking. And so they were in my

office. The husband started talking about feeling this lack of connection with his wife.

...