Episode 297: Farmer’s Lament

Your Kickstarter Sucks

Jesse Farrar & Mike Hale

Technology, Comedy

4.8 • 1.6K Ratings

🗓️ 3 April 2023

⏱️ 122 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I’m running the self-cleaning function on the oven right now and it’s filling my home with, uh, let’s say, a normal amount of months’ old food fumes. So, I apologize in advance if this episode description gets a little WEIRD. Like Weird Twitter. Which I invented, by the way. On today’s show we talk about becoming the world’s most useless and thief-targeted Avenger, taking down Big Grease (damn it’s getting pretty hot and smelly in here), and what to do with people who have ever so slightly different senses of humor than we do, other than physically attack them while heavily under the influence of toxic kitchen fumes. So roll your lottery dice, blow into your car’s BAC monitor, and crank up the probably broken bluetooth radio…it’s time for another episode of Yes, Kitchen Stinks!

Music for YKS is courtesy of Howell Dawdy, Craig Dickman, Mr. Baloney, and Mark Brendle. Additional research by Zeke Golvin. YKS is edited by Producer Dan.

Farrarch may be over…but YKS Premium lives on! That’s right, we didn’t decide to stop doing our one job after an arbitrary themed month of movie content. Talk about heroes…Anyway subscribe today for just $5/mo and get access to hundreds if not billions of hours of YKS content…with even more to come, I would absolutely have to assume! Patreon.com/yourkickstartersucks

This week’s episode of YKS is sponsored by these fine brands:

Mt. Ellinor Candles - You know we love candles here at YKS, and it just so happens that we’ve got a connection in the candle biz now. Mt Ellinor makes the best selling candles I’ve ever sniffed, and they do it the old fashioned way: with their hands, while listening to an awful podcast. Somehow, though, they turn out wonderfully. Get 15% off your order of two or more candles using the code YKS at MtEllinor.com and support a friend of the show!

Athletic Greens - It’s springtime, and many of us are running outside to get some of that classic Vitamin Sun. But there are untold other vitamins that simply lazing about in the grass won’t get you. That’s why I use Athletic Greens AG1: the scientifically complete vitamin supplement that doesn’t require me to breathe any outdoor air! Get 5 free travel packs + 1 year supply of vitamin D at athleticgreens.com/yks

Factor - I want lunch, I want dinner, and with Factor, I’m a winner! The song I’ve been legally barred from performing in public really says it all. These healthy, quickly prepared meals are good and good for you…now that’s a tune we can all dance to! Go to FactorMeals.com/YKS50 for 50% off your first box

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Now my guy know you know about candles. You're the candle man. That's right.
0:06.7	J.F. I love candles. I love smelling them, lighting them, doing everything, every
0:11.4	which way with it. Wait a minute. No, you're thinking about farts. Sorry.
0:14.3	Let me tell you about Mount Eleanor candle here, J.F. They're hand-poured in the
0:21.1	shadow of the Olympic mountains. Mount Eleanor candles will help curate the
0:25.8	perfect vibe for 2023. Well, this is true because now I'm proud to say that
0:32.5	Mount Eleanor candles owned and operated by a listener of the show, a listener of
0:37.3	YKS. How weird is that, huh? Somebody out there listening to this show.
0:41.0	Responsible enough to have their own business. Yeah. We've asked Ben at Mount
0:48.5	Eleanor candles. Please do not listen to the show while you're hand-pouring the
0:52.3	candles because maybe we make you laugh a little too hard. The candle wax goes
0:57.9	everywhere. It kind of gets on maybe a part of you. You don't want it to get on
1:01.8	yet. I don't think he makes the candles naked. Let's not say that. The candles are
1:07.6	made with premium wax and the sensor, herbal, woody and floral. We've had these
1:13.3	candles. I've lit these candles proudly in my home. They are, to me, the ideal
1:18.0	candle smell. I know that I've had the Baker candle and I think also the Eleanor
1:24.6	candle, but there are so many others on here in such an incredible wide variety of
1:29.1	these earthy woodsy scents. Man, you got a rain going outside. You get one of
1:34.1	these candles lit. Is there anything better? Maybe if you're in the bathtub and
1:37.9	you're pouring your candle wax in there, look out. There's one of them I really like.
1:41.4	I probably should have pulled it up before press record. Hey, there's one of them
1:46.9	that I really like. Mount Eleanor was created to share the love of the outdoors
	...

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