All right, should we get to our sexy story this week?

Ladies, gentlemen, you cannot unsuck that dick.

It was hot.

It was really quite something.

Do you like when someone else makes me moan?

Do not show up looking like you slept in your clothes, in your car.

There is nothing sexier than getting railed by two dudes at the same time.

I'll just say that.

So I had a mystery date the other night that I have not told you anything about.

You don't know who it was with.

You don't know anything.

I know nothing. Only that it happened. That's it. And that you've met this person before in the past. Right. So I'm going to be sharing the details with you and everyone else very shortly. But first, we want to say thank you to Cassidy.com for sponsoring this episode of Front Porch Swingers. We are constantly asked, hey, what's going on in our

area? What club can we check out? Are there any events in our area? Well, we're pretty familiar with a lot of areas, but certainly not all of them, but we know who is. And it's Cassidy.com. If you want to check out what's happening in your area and start meeting cool people, Cassidy is the way to do it. And right now, you can do it free for an entire month. All you have to do is go to our

website, front porch swingers.com, and click on the Cassidy banner at the bottom of the homepage. Again, that's front porch swingers.com. Click on the Cassidy banner, get started and get out to something cool soon. For sure. So I just want to say, I'm going to pat myself on the back.

I have to have my celebration here for a moment because I finally fucking won a worst of the week.

You did, barely.

Honestly, listen, let's face it.

A lot of people think you're super cutie pants.

So you get a lot of the votes.

I'm just saying I think there might be, you know, a little of that in there. No, there was no bias whatsoever. All right. Plus, a lot of people find you ridiculously hot. So maybe you got some votes because of that. They just want your dick. Bullshit. Well, probably. Probably not. So as I'm saying this, I also realize how incredibly odd it is to celebrate that I won receiving the worst fucking message. The fact that this is even a competition is so sad. Well, it's so funny because women oftentimes say to me, like, we, you know, we just hosted obviously our event in LA and I had a number of women I was talking to just be like, oh, it's so nice to have amazing single men here.

And, you know, I get such fucking terrible messages. We have terrible experience. I'm like, oh, really? Let me tell you something. Like, let me tell you how it is when you're not a straight guy. You have no idea. You know how many people I've told about the soft wormhole or that have heard it? I had two people at the event come up to me go, that was the worst thing I've ever heard.

I had somebody at the event come up and go, hey, just, you know, I voted for you on Twitter this week. But if I would have voted on the first week, Brian definitely would have won. Because when I heard soft wormhole, I literally gagged a little bit. Yeah. The one guy was like, I will never unhear that. He's like, that was the worst thing I've ever heard.

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