Episode 280: Cookie Acceptance Day!

Cognitive Dissonance

Tom Curry

Comedy

4.8 • 4.4K Ratings

🗓️ 29 February 2016

⏱️ 93 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Danish imam urges govt to accept child marriages among refugees Two more babies stricken with herpes after ritual ultra-orthodox Jewish oral blood sucking circumcision in New York City Former Yazidi Sex Slaves Form All-Female Battalion ‘Sun Ladies’ to Launch Assault on ISIS Archbishop wants St. Louis Catholics to drop the Girl Scouts because they ‘move in the ways of the world’ Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson Gives Bizarre Religious Rant at Ted Cruz Rally [13 minute clip] 'A husband should beat his wife so long as it does not make her ugly': Palestinian leader gives horrific advice for dealing with a rocky marriage Rick Wiles: Obama, Hillary And Pope Francis Will Destroy America Cruz-loving End Times pastor uses numerology to prove Obama sacrificed Scalia in pagan ritual

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	This episode of Cognitive Disnance is brought to you by our patrons, you fucking rock.
0:05.5	Hey guys, I'd love to show this is Molly.
0:09.6	Regarding your last episode, since you cracked up so much at the idea of elite forces in
0:15.0	the Coast Guard, I thought I'd let you in on this little bit of hilarity.
0:20.6	My ex-husband within the Coast Guard needs to talk about wanting to join the tactical
0:25.5	underwater nighttime assault group.
0:29.5	Well, that together, it's tuna.
0:32.3	I think they've gone paddled around.
0:34.0	Drunk dealer boats are something in the middle of the night.
0:36.9	Anyhow, glory hole.
0:38.7	Good morning, my name is Richard Swing.
0:42.8	My friends call me Dick, which I hope you guys will be some friends.
0:47.2	I am a prisoner of national association, glory hole operators, better known as nagho.
0:53.5	I'm also a proud owner of SoftGumps, LLC, which employs over 200 glory hole individuals.
0:59.4	We have installations throughout the pilot space of Georgia, Mississippi and Louisiana.
1:04.4	I'm holding a cease and desist ladder, which is an entirely crafted by our representatives.
1:10.4	And I really don't want to send it out.
1:12.4	I'm hoping that maybe we can get together and talk about the fact that you possibly brought
1:18.4	wrong upon our organization.
1:20.4	As we stay down here in Mississippi, we can get together, kill turtle, and draw a suit
1:25.4	together.
1:26.4	We're going to my attention to your podcast.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Tom Curry, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Tom Curry and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.