I'm Jerry Springer, and I want to be your governor.

Now, after sharing some specific solutions for our unemployment and education problems in this state,

it looks like the nomination is finally within grasp,

which makes what I'm about to tell you even more difficult.

Some nine years ago, I spent time with a woman I shouldn't have,

and I paid her with a check.

I wish I hadn't done that.

I regret I've had a few,

but then again, too few to mention.

I don't even know if I understand that line.

Regrets I've had a few,

but too few to mention.

Oh, I guess I understand it.

Frank Snatcher's an A-hole.

Well, here it is, everybody.

The first installment of a TBTL holiday,

Special Tacular, we're calling it No Regrets.

This is some special holiday programming that we have created for you,

the tens of listeners, a countdown of ten things that we regret.

It's sort of taking the basic DNA of the show,

and just distilling it down to its essence,

and then presenting it to you over the course of two weeks

...