Episode 252 - Dick on Unexpected Guests

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Dickmasterson, Biggestproblemintheuniverse, Comedy

4.8 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 30 March 2021

⏱️ 139 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jamming up world trade, my cancer, blood drive scams and big leaguers, inappropriate tele-doctors, Ethan Ralph calls in about the recent fracas, Vito calls in about Magic the Gathering MS Paint cards, Amazon drivers pooping in their vans, a 14 year-old bangs his mom's friend, guys who want to date a bro, the juice cleanse was a big mistake, Jon del Arroz, and a call-in fails to materialize; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0	We live in hell, right?
0:03.6	You know, I was just thinking that.
0:05.0	I was just thinking that yesterday, no, I mean more like a philosophical level.
0:13.4	Like it's like if there is a hell, I think earth is it and if you're going to be rewarded
0:19.0	in the afterlife, it's just for getting through and basically leaving a little more good
0:24.8	than, then don't get sucked into all that goodness stuff.
0:29.8	I just, I'm having fun with it like it's, I really think it's like God, like this world
0:36.0	is hell now.
0:37.0	Like this world is just, it's a terrible place.
0:41.2	It's a terrible place when you think about, you know, all the serious stuff.
0:44.4	You go, God, how could, you know, that's why I'm glad about the cancer that I have.
0:49.7	So this is what you, okay, it's cancer, 100%.
0:52.7	Yeah.
0:53.7	The stabbing pain in my throat, it's not going away, it's ironic that I would get the
0:59.3	throat cancer.
1:01.7	That's why I'm, it's the funniest cancer that I would get, right?
1:05.2	throat cancer.
1:06.2	Yeah.
1:07.2	We're going to take away, he can't be able to talk no more.
1:10.2	Yeah.
1:11.2	That's like Picasso can't paint, right, right, right, right, take it away from, super man,
1:15.4	can't walk.
	...

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