This was me, Ryan Butterfield, six months ago before starting my diet plan.

But just look at me now. I feel like a new man, thanks to the Butterfield diet.

The results have been incredible.

Okay, here's your weekday plan. Breakfast, one conflict, toasted with low fat spread, lunch, small raw potato, peeled, dinner,

square of low fat turkey breast, baked bean in low fat tomato sauce.

Then, at the weekend, it's time for a reward.

For 24 hours, you can literally eat anything.

Pork cylinders, potato grids, artificial bacon, large max, sandwich casserole, chocolate quail eggs, garlic pudding, fluffy ruffs, pasta pillows, bomb bomb bombs,

McFortune cookies, discount foie gras, egg and ham slabs, during dinner mints, quiche's low-roam.

The Butterfield diet plan. Order it exclusively online at www.FullStop.

Butterfield diet, full stop, C-O-M. Call now.

TVTL

Tonight is going to be fun. You're probably thinking, how could it possibly be fun?

No one's thinking that. I kind of was. I was not. Why are we laughing?

Do not put that on the imaginary readers show.

Now, if you haven't heard of these young men, then you must be the wrong age because they're rock and roll specialties.

They just think that they can just get in our cooling lane when they don't even know the flavor.

That's a good one, Kayla.

This is going to be a good one. I can just feel it.

Because it is a Thursday afternoon edition of TVTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host.

I've lost hundreds of pounds and gained hundreds of confidence.

...