Episode 230: Why Evangelical Honeymoons Go So Badly feat. Jay Stringer

Bare Marriage

Sheila Gregoire

Marriage, Social Sciences, Science, Relationships, Sex, Christianity, Wife, Religion & Spirituality, Mother, Society & Culture, Advice, Family

4.6 • 1.1K Ratings

🗓️ 28 March 2024

⏱️ 57 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Recently Texas SBC megachurch pastor Josh Howerton told brides that on the wedding night, they should "stand where he wants you to stand, wear what he wants you to wear, and do what he wants you to do." Sex was presented as something that HE has been waiting for his whole life, and that she has to provide. There was no emphasis on how she actually has greater need to be cared for sexually, if you're going to begin well, than he does. Jay Stringer joins us today to talk about how the conversation around sex often leads to couples starting off badly--and also allows men to not have to grow up or do the work of being mature, emotionally healthy people.

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About Jay Stringer:

Check out Jay's book Unwanted
Find Jay on Instagram
Learn more about the upcoming Sexual Attachment Conference

Links We Mentioned:

Jay's first podcast with us on his book Unwanted
Our book The Great Sex Rescue, with the stats on vaginismus and sexual pain
Our books for engaged couples, The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex
Our podcast looking at Josh and Jana's Howerton's sex talk
The podcast showing how Josh Howerton plagiarizes in his sermons
The Orgasm Course
The Marriage Night at Lakepointe Church Howerton was referring to
The study on the effects of orgasm the first time you have sex

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And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too!

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Transcript

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0:17.0	Welcome to the Bear Marriage Podcast, I'm Sheila Ray Grech. We're from Bear Marriage.com where we like to talk about healthy evidence-based biblical advice for your sex life and your marriage. We've got a really fun podcast for you today because I've got someone I respect so much that I've learned so much from coming on to an interview with me and that's going to be awesome but before we get to that I just want to say thank you to our patrons who support us on a monthly basis and help us do what we're doing. I had a great chance when we were in Grand Rapids a couple of weeks ago to meet up with some of our patrons, but there are so many, there's hundreds in our Facebook group and we just have such an amazing time, you know, talking about
0:44.9	faith issues and talking about issues of sexuality in the church, and you can join us for as little as
0:50.8	five dollars a month and get access to our unfiltered podcasts and more.
0:54.8	So the link for that is in the podcast notes.
0:57.2	And if you want to help us with more of our research and fund some of that, we are the
1:01.1	Good Fruit Faith Initiative under the Bosco Foundation and you can get
1:04.8	tax deductible receipts for supporting us that way so we will also put the link to that there.
1:09.1	And of course we have so many courses.
1:12.2	We have our puberty course for parents talking to kids. We have our
1:15.5	orgasm course, our libido course, our honeymoon course for those, just
1:19.3	getting ready to be married. And you can check those out under courses on our website and I will put links to those in the
1:25.0	podcast notes too. When you buy our courses or our merch you also support us and help us keep going
1:30.4	as well as get healthy information out there. So thank you for being part of this.
1:34.6	And now without further ado, I would like to bring on Jay Stringer. He sent me a link to a little
1:40.9	clip from a Southern Baptist pastor talking about sex and let's start the interview and we will let you in on what happened.
1:48.4	Well I am so glad to bring on the podcast again my friend Jay Stringer who is a licensed counselor the author of
1:54.8	unwanted and just in general a really smart guy about sex and Christianity and everything so
1:59.8	hello Jay. Hello Sheila it's so good to be back with you so honored to be here.
2:06.0	Yeah it's always fun and okay here's the setup everybody so Jay sent me an email
2:10.4	I don't know like a couple of weeks ago, saying, have you seen this clip?
2:14.9	Because this is weird. And it was Megachuchr.
2:18.4	Josh Howerton, who was at Lake Point Church in Dallas, I believe.
	...

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