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TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Episode #1995: Sick Brag, Bro

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL

Comedy, Leisure

4.82.4K Ratings

🗓️ 19 November 2015

⏱️ 75 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Luke is sick and hung over from NyQuil. Andrew has had too much coffee. Together they tackle Carly Simon's big reveal, whether or not Luke should talk to Jimmy Page, and how Small Wonder led Andrew to be a young runaway.

Transcript

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0:00.0

I don't know what your mother told you, but let me explain it for my side.

0:04.0

In terms, you can understand. You got your doll, right? You got your doll there.

0:09.0

Yes. You love your doll? Yes. Yes.

0:12.0

But what if I told you? That was the only doll you were allowed to play with the rest of your life.

0:17.0

How would you feel? Sad. You feel sad? Of course.

0:22.0

There's other dolls you like, and they're making new dolls every year. You want to stew with his doll?

0:28.0

What about a slightly overweight cocktail waitress doll? What about a doll who happens to be best friends with your main doll?

0:34.0

Yes. It could happen, right? Yes.

0:36.0

What about a doll you only play with one day and never see again?

0:40.0

Yes.

0:41.0

So that's why me and mama get divorced.

0:49.0

I got here to do your kettle. You came in here like a house on fire.

0:53.0

You made your point. Good smoke aside you.

0:55.0

You're hungry. You're confused.

0:58.0

Your face is streaked with dry tears.

1:00.0

And you don't even remember when you started crying?

1:03.0

You know, so like in the Incas or the Mayans, they say gold was the sweat from the sun or tears, you know.

1:10.0

And so gold always been special. Gold was by when Jesus and Moses days, you know, the Ark of the Covenant.

1:17.0

You once, you could do so. You, you, you, you, you, you.

1:22.0

This is you talking or the liquor, Andy?

1:28.0

I have a little liquor.

1:34.0

Oh man, how much, how much liquor do they put in a shot of nightquill?

...

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