It took you one minute and twelve seconds to tell one joke. It's too long.

Oh, no, I didn't read it.

Comedy is about timing, son.

Timing. You got to get him. You got to tell him.

Okay.

Okay.

Work on your speed.

T-B-T-L!

You come out. You say hello. You start the show. Here's the show. What's the mystery?

It all people think I'm fancy, but I like nothing more than to end the day with one of these fine hamburger sandwiches from the good people at the McDonald's.

I'm a simple man. I like pretty dark-haired women and breakfast food.

Get out of here! What is going on? What do you got here? A thunder hurricane going on? A thunder blizzard hurricane.

Let's get to the good stuff here.

I'm looking out the window and I don't see any thunder blizzard hurricanes on the horizon.

But we are in Des Moines, Iowa, the Bay City. So I guess anything could happen in some of those weather departments.

Hi there, everybody. Welcome to a Thursday afternoon edition of T-B-T-L. This right here is the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host. It's episode 1,980 in a collector series.

Yes, I am in Des Moines today. We are getting ready to do the Weight Weight Don't Tell Me recording here at the Des Moines Civic Center.

Got my hair cut earlier today. I was talking to the lady cutting my hair about the show. She's not going because it's sold out.

The whole town is a buzz about my hair. No, about weight weight don't tell me being here. So exciting times here in Des Moines.

Exciting times if you're listening to the show because we have a lot to talk about on this Thursday.

We're going to roll out a new segment called Finish That Thought. Why? Because we often bring up topics on the show and then never finish the thought.

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