Episode #1959: What Rhymes With Cauterize?

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL

Comedy, Leisure

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 30 September 2015

⏱️ 74 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Luke joins the show from beautiful Pittsburgh, where he's attending a public radio conference. However, things are not going as planned. Meanwhile, Andrew is either sick or faking sickness in the Koreatown neighborhood of Los Angeles. Also, listeners weigh-in with their suggested "John Boehner" chyron captions for the Daily Show.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, hey, welcome to my show everybody. I know you did pay $100, but here here's $100
0:08.7	back to you and 10%. So $10 for you. Enjoy my show. And after my show, I shall live in
0:16.8	Courtsports Boxhouse on the street because I do not understand financials and I am poverty.
0:23.6	You're here to make friends. Making friends is the name of this show. I'm done with wolves now.
0:36.8	I'm into angry unicorns. If I was a unicorn, I'd never be angry. You'll be staying with two of our
0:44.2	undergrads in their dorm room. What's a dorm room? Oh, it's where the students sleep. Oh, a room
0:49.4	chair. Oh, I like that. And you know, maybe meals with them in the dining hall. That's the
0:54.3	cacitorium. Good afternoon and welcome to Judgment City. You've just had quite a little journey. So for
1:00.6	now relax and enjoy the ride. Oh, indeed. Welcome everybody to a Wednesday afternoon edition of TBTL.
1:15.2	It is Wednesday, right? Things are starting to blur together. I believe this is a Wednesday afternoon
1:20.6	edition of the program. I know this. This is the show that just might be too beautiful to live. I
1:27.5	also know that on your host, Luke Burbank, coming to you today from the intersection of the Ohio,
1:33.9	Allegheny, and Managa Hela Rivers in beautiful Pittsburgh, PA. That's right. It's episode 1,959
1:46.8	in a collector's series. I just about lost my mind last night. And a lot of it came down to
1:59.5	the music of the band collective soul happening at a very inopportune time. So we'll talk about that.
2:05.6	Also, you heard it here first. That's probably not true. You probably haven't even heard the
2:11.3	episode that I'm talking about yet. But anyway, a couple days ago, we were talking about water on
2:16.9	Mars and we were dazzled by the details about the discern political conversation about where on Mars
2:24.7	our space rovers should go based on if they might be bringing earth germs around. Well,
2:29.3	the New York Times has waited on the whole issue. We'll tell you about that. Also, as promised yesterday,
2:34.9	we'll talk about the MacArthur Genius Awards. We'll talk about all of that while a very well-meaning
2:40.7	lady vacuums incessantly outside of my hotel room here at the William Penn Omni Hotel in Pittsburgh,
	...

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