Took you one minute and 12 seconds to tell one joke. It's too long.

Oh, no, I didn't read it.

Comedy is about timing, son.

Timing. You gotta get him. You gotta tell him.

Okay.

Work on your speed.

T-B-T-L.

You come out. You say hello. You start the show. Here's the show. What's the mystery?

It all people think I'm fancy, but I like nothing more than to end the day with one of these fine hamburger sandwiches from the good people at the McDonald's.

I'm a simple man. I like pretty dark-haired women and breakfast food.

Get out of here. What is going on? What do you got here? A thunder hurricane going on? A thunder-blizzard hurricane.

Let's get to the good stuff here.

Hey, everybody. Welcome to a Monday afternoon edition of T-B-T-L, the show that just might be.

Too beautiful to live. My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host coming to you today from beautiful Portland, Oregon.

It tastes like a set in hot water. I'm hooked.

Gazing out on the traffic, the beautiful twinkly lights of traffic as they sit on the various bridges of this place known in some circles as Bridgetown.

It is a Monday afternoon edition of the show. This is episode 1,752 in a collector series. What have fun sexy time for you?

We have all kinds of stuff to talk about with you. We've got the T-B-T-L Sasquatch Holiday Miracle.

Sasquatches are real. They're really sleepy.

That will tell you about also 30,000 boxes of what could only be described as bullshit.

Look at it's plain and simple. It's bullshit.

Has been shipped out and the boxes have started arriving. We'll tell you why people purchased this.

...