Episode #17: What You Say To Yourself Matters
Your Anxiety Toolkit - Practical Skills for Anxiety, Panic & Depression
Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT | Anxiety & OCD Specialist
4.9 • 882 Ratings
🗓️ 19 August 2017
⏱️ 17 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What You Say To Yourself Matters.
More importantly, what you say to yourself about anxiety matters! In this podcast, I delve into the importance of accurate and mindful language, specifically related to how to experience and manage anxiety. Believe it or not, the story you tell yourself can greatly change the way you see yourself and the world around you. The way we talk to ourselves about our experience of anxiety can greatly affect the management of our anxiety, and can create a platform for whether we thrive or merely survive our anxiety. To help us conceptualize this subject, I use a fictional example, Mary. My hope is that Mary can help us understand the complexity of our negative thinking and help us to find new ways to talk to ourselves about our anxiety. Example:
Mary has anxiety and wakes up and feeling anxious. She immediately thinks, "I am so anxious", "Something bad is going to happen", "It isn't fair that this is happening", and "Why me?" She goes off to work, repeating in her head, "I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this…" What she is telling herself: - Things are bad
- Things aren't going to get better
- She is the victim. That she has no choices here
- She doesn't have coping skills/ She will not survive this event
What you can do differently:
During this podcast, I discuss four key steps you can take to improve your personal narrative about your anxiety. They steps will lead you towards more mindful and helpful approach to talking about your anxiety.I have outlined a step-by-step plan to help you better manage your narrative related to anxiety. We go into greater detail in the podcast, so enjoy listening!
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4-point plan to creating a more Mindful Narrative
- Be objective, not subjective See Episode #1: The Skill or Non-Judgment for more info
- Be in the present moment See Episode #8: Skill of Awareness for more info
- Take responsibility for your experience
- Practice Uncertainty See Episode #6: The Beginners Mind for more info
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To help you along with practicing these steps, I have also created a fun PDF that you can download/print and use at your leisure.
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[embed_popupally_pro popup_id="3"] I challenge you to try this as much as you can and see the difference it makes. Small changes lead to large changes, so don't be afraid to try it a little at a time. Even trying it once a day can get the ball rolling.Enjoy!
This podcast should not replace professional mental health care. This podcast is for education purposes only. If you feel you would benefit by seeing a clinical professional, please contact a professional mental health care provider in your area.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is your anxiety toolkit. My name is Kimberly Quinlan and welcome back. Today's podcast |
| 0:15.3 | is called What You Say About Yourself Matters. But what I'm really wanting to speak to today is more about what you say about yourself matters. But what I'm really wanting to speak to today is more about |
| 0:23.9 | what you say to yourself about your anxiety that matters. And what I'm wanting to really address here |
| 0:31.5 | is how important language is in our experience. Now what you say creates a narrative of what it's like to be you in |
| 0:43.0 | your body and it also affects how we experience our surroundings. And believe it or not, the story you tell |
| 0:51.0 | yourself can greatly change the way that you see yourself and the world |
| 0:56.2 | around you. |
| 0:57.8 | The way that we talk to ourselves about our experience, specifically related to our experience |
| 1:04.7 | of anxiety, can really greatly affect our management of our anxiety and can also create a platform for where |
| 1:14.2 | we either thrive or we merely survive with our anxiety. Now, I think the best way for me to |
| 1:23.5 | explain this is really to give you sort of a brief example. So the example is a fictional character. |
| 1:29.7 | I've named her Mary and Mary wakes up every morning and the first thing she feels when she |
| 1:36.2 | opens her eyes or her feet hit the ground is anxiety. And as she has this anxiety, she might have the immediate thought, I'm so anxious. |
| 1:47.7 | Or she might have the thought, something really bad is going to happen today. |
| 1:52.8 | And then move into a series of thoughts such as, it's not fair for me that this is happening, |
| 2:00.0 | or even why is it that I have to go through this? |
| 2:04.2 | Why me? |
| 2:05.7 | And as she gets ready for work or as she gets ready for school, she starts to really experience |
| 2:11.2 | a repetitive thought in her head which would often sound like, I can't do this, I can't do |
| 2:16.6 | this, I can't do this, or I'm not able to |
| 2:20.1 | cope. So when we look at that fictional example, I think that we can all really resonate with |
| 2:28.2 | Mary's experience. She's telling herself, one, that things are really bad. She's selling herself, one, that things are really bad. |
... |
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