I know we've only known each other for 4 weeks and 3 days, but to me it seems like 9 weeks and 5 days.

The first day seemed like a week, and the second day seemed like 5 days, and the third day seemed like a week again.

And the fourth day seemed like 8 days, but the fifth day you went to see your mother, and that seemed just like a day.

But then you came back, and later on the sixth day and the evening when we saw each other, that started seeming like 2 days.

So in the evening it seemed like 2 days, spilling over into the next day, and that started seeming like 4 days.

So at the end of the sixth day, on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of 5 days.

And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half.

I haven't written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.

Let me take off my assistant skirt, and put on my Barbara Streisand in the Prince of Tides, as Masking Therapist Pansuit.

I know it's not pretty to look at, but it'll get you where you want to go.

Right about now, your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag, and your butt is kind of like an about to explode bratwurst.

But you're a wingman. Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.

Hey, I saw you checking out my goods.

Yes, it's normal, but no more than 4 times a day.

Are you sure this is legal?

I don't know. It's fun though, isn't it?

It sure is. Hey everybody, welcome to a Thursday afternoon edition of TBTL.

This is the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

My name is Luke Burbank, I'm your host, it's episode 1684 in a collector's series.

It's a beautiful Wednesday afternoon in Portland, Oregon, coming to you from the comfortable confines of the Deluxe Hotel.

And also taking part in the public radio program director's conference, which live wire the other radio show I do was the entertainment for last night.

We had a great time. Melissa Etheridge was on the show and was lovely. Sarah Benincasa was there.

...