Episode 163 - Dick on Party Crashing

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Dickmasterson, Biggestproblemintheuniverse, Comedy

4.8 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 16 July 2019

⏱️ 198 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I meet Mundane Matt at Vidcon and lose a hotdog eating contest, split trash cans, the war on toilet paper, conferences and the people who go to them, global warming nonsense, Mumkey Jones bails on calling in and costs me $50, running out on your family, the importance of not making people insane, questions with unnecessary answers, Vito: the neckbeard who vaped an e-girl's bathwater, The Chris Cant Cast starring Cantillions and Chris the Kiwi, storming the Federal Reserve, Null and his girlfriend sitting in a tree, D-O-X-X-I-N-G, and I save a Maddox; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Is he here? Is monkey here?
0:03.0	I hope so.
0:05.0	Oh, he'll come on. I have faith that he'll come on.
0:08.0	He said he would call in.
0:09.0	Mumkey Jones, Mumkey Jones said he would call in if he was awake during the show today.
0:16.0	And I said, well, what time are you awake then, Princess, and I'll do the show then?
0:22.0	Where is he's in the states, right?
0:24.0	He's in Walla Land.
0:26.0	Well, so it's later than here.
0:28.0	Yes!
0:29.0	I don't care what kind of temporal disabilities he has.
0:31.0	Yeah.
0:32.0	First of whatever he... It's. First of whatever you
0:33.0	however late you want to go I promise you I'll record that late
0:37.0	Mumke yes. Oh I dated a girl who was a vampire yeah so I can stay up.
0:44.4	You mean like, like she really thought she was a vampire?
0:48.0	No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nothing like that. I was older than that. She didn't like the sunlight. She wouldn't go, she wouldn't wake up during the sun. And she needed, she needed at least a monster every couple of hours to stay alive.
1:05.0	A monster. A monster energy drink.
1:07.0	Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, a monster.
1:09.0	This was before it was a boomer drink though.
1:11.0	Huh.
1:12.0	I've never, yeah, don't ever think you're safe from Damei Pecos.
	...

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