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Warning, this podcast contains explicit language and content some listeners may find objectionable.

This is a work of fiction.

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This is The Offensive. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-h-hmm.

Hmm. Hmm. Oh, hello.

Yeah, what is it?

I'm in your office, pal. Can you grab a coffee?

Uh, yeah, well, yeah, I can do, but I am quite far from the office.

How far?

In miles, probably five thousand.

Ah, right, it'll be cold by the time you give it to me then, won't it?

Yeah, I'm in the Seychelles, Woody.

Fuck, of course, sorry, pal. You're on your holidays, aren't you?

Yes, I am. Yeah. So, what is it? What do you need?

I mean, apart from a coffee, which I wouldn't get you anyway.

Got dollop a bad news for you, pal.

Fuck's sake. How big a dollop?

David Loonis said something, and it's not good.

...