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TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Episode #1446: Andy's Divorce, Part One.

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL

Comedy, Leisure

4.82.4K Ratings

🗓️ 10 October 2013

⏱️ 38 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Friend of the show Andy Haynes stops by with a very frank conversation about life, relationships and using comedy to deal with pain.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey guys, it's Luke. Hey, just a heads up. Today's TVTL is a little bit of a departure from

0:06.8

our typical shows. We're going to be talking about divorce and sex and some other stuff that might

0:12.7

be a little bit intense if you have, you know, kids in the car or something. So you might want to

0:18.3

wait until a little bit later to listen to this episode. Or don't, I guess, I mean, maybe they're

0:24.8

way cool three-year-olds who can totally handle their shit. I mean, I don't know. I don't know your

0:28.8

life. What I'm trying to say is consider yourself warned. And also thank you for listening to

0:33.5

your TVTL. You have seen him on Conan. You have seen him on Comedy Central. Give it up real big

0:37.5

for Mr. Andy Haynes. Hi, how is everybody? Good. Glad to hear it. Is that it? That's all you guys

0:53.9

got? All right, I guess I'll have to do all the work up here. Jesus. What can I talk about? I

1:01.8

have jokes. I don't really want to talk about them right now. I found out yesterday that I'm getting

1:06.8

divorced. I found out because I decided to get a divorce. That's what I found out. I was like,

1:14.0

yeah, I think it's about time to get a divorce. This lady seems dangerous. My wife wanted to have

1:22.3

an open relationship. And so I was like, yeah, we'll try an open relationship. And it turns out

1:27.3

that nobody wants to fuck the guy in the open relationship. They're totally into fucking that lady.

1:35.0

But nobody's into this weird guy who's like, wife doesn't want to fuck him. So he has to control

1:40.5

the streets for pussy. Nobody's interested in that creative dude. I don't even know that works

1:48.9

like an open relationship. Like I tried it, but it's, you know, it's weird. It's like, hey,

1:53.6

babe, I think you got some gizz on your face. It's not mine. So please take it off your face.

2:07.6

I, it's weird too, because here's what happened. We did the open relationship. And I was like, yeah,

2:14.5

I'm not really into it. Nobody wants to have sex with me, but you apparently are doing all right.

2:19.8

And then she was like, no, I want to still do it. And I was like, well, I don't really, you know,

2:27.1

I don't want to do that. It's weird though when your wife like decides that, because it's like

...

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