This is the DJ 3000. It plays CDs automatically, and it has three distinct varieties of a name chatter.

Hey, hey, how about that weather out there? Whoa, that was the caller from Hell.

Well, hot dog, we have a weiner. Yeah, that thing's great. Don't praise the machine.

Looks like those clowns in Congress did it again. What a bunch of clowns.

How's it keep up with the news like that?

TVTL!

Special announcement. Did you purchase or receive by gift before November 27th, 1990,

a Millie Vanille recording, a ticket to a concert at which Millie Vanille performed,

or Millie Vanille merchandise? If so, listen carefully to this important message

about appending Millie Vanille lawsuit that may affect your rights.

Ordinary f***ing people, you know? Oh, um, repo man? Nice. I mean, you're probably the only two

people here that would get that. Perhaps? Get what? Ordinary f***ing people. Yeah, I know that movie.

You guys brother grounds. You idiot. That's ordinary people. What the mother f***ing seeing

as an f***ing f is going on right now. Did you know that according to men, women exaggerate everything?

Wow, you are really good at wasting time. Can I go home now?

All right, don't be alarmed guys. Don't throw your podcast machines out the window just yet.

You have the right show, just the wrong host. This is TVTL, the show that's probably too beautiful to live.

I am not Luke Burbank. He's out today. It's gone. I checked in that house. I knocked on the doorbell

and ran it, but he was gone. So you're stuck with me. My name is Andrew Walsh,

and you might know me from such podcasts as this one. I know. I know who you are.

It's been explained to me. I've been following your career forever. Be quiet.

This is episode number 1,405 in a collector's series, as they say. And despite Luke's absence,

...