Episode 1304: The Narwhal is Nature's Hat Stand

Matt & Mattingly's Ice Cream Social

Matt Donnelly, Paul Mattingly, Jacob Smith

Society & Culture, Comedy, Arts

4.9 • 634 Ratings

🗓️ 13 April 2026

⏱️ 84 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

SUMMARY: We have Patreon laments. Paul smells like dumpster juice after eating a snack. Jacob has a follow-up on a traveler down on their luck. Matt uses tinfoil to connect with an audience member who doesn't like magic shows. Paul has opinions on people who don't maintain flag displays. And a Scoopardy.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Oh, hello there.
0:04.6	I am so happy to see you.
0:06.2	This is my favorite part of the show.
0:07.8	This is the part of the show where we get to thank you.
0:09.7	The ice cream truck drivers.
0:11.3	Thank you so much ice cream truck drivers.
0:13.7	Look, guys, I told you last week that I was going to have a list of thank you.
0:19.0	Big promises.
0:20.3	I promised it. I said for sure
0:23.0	it was going to happen and it didn't.
0:25.3	And it's definitely not
0:26.7	because Patreon is a pain in the ass.
0:29.3	It's definitely not
0:30.5	the reason. It's definitely not
0:32.6	that Matt and I spent nearly an
0:34.6	hour today trying to get the fucking lists
0:36.8	off of Patreon. It's none of those things. It's because I fucked up. That's definitely the reason. No. God damn. It's because the things you just said. What's that? No, it was the reasons were because of the things you just said. Yeah, yeah, me fucking up. I just, I completely dropped the ball and fucked up. No, no, no. What? Oh, I didn't. Oh, I didn't. Oh, you're right. Oh, Patreon is the problem. Well, that sucks for us, too. It does. We are going to get a new list. And God damn it, we're going to have something by the next episode. I promise you again.
1:11.4	We are going to thank each and every goddamn Patreon on this part of the, but not all of you,
1:16.2	but the ice cream truck drivers on this show.
1:18.3	Before this month is over, you have my word.
1:21.7	I'll give you my word as a gentleman.
1:25.2	So there.
	...

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