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The Dick Show

Episode 124 - Dick on Proper Grooming

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Dickmasterson, Biggestproblemintheuniverse, Comedy

4.81.3K Ratings

🗓️ 16 October 2018

⏱️ 165 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Self-replicating holiday decorations, Taylor from PKA calls in, "American Circumcision", a documentary on foreskin, high-pressure medical sales, and "Jewish calamari", unpopular uses for tampons, QR codes, Venn diagrams on meth and cryptocurrency, sexist artificial intelligence, McDonald's game pieces, Sargon of Akkad calls in to resurrect Gamer Gate, I want to resurrect NoMa'am, hate mail from a victim, Nick Rekieta loses his temper, and I get subpoenaed; all that and more on this episode of The Dick Show!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Yeah, I'll be honest. I don't, I don't think I'm going to throw up, but I might.

0:08.8

Yeah, you can't say for sure. It's one of those.

0:11.6

Yeah, been there because I never I I'm pretty sure I know

0:17.0

when I'm gonna ship my pants I always know well then that would ask the question, beg the question, why would you ever shit your pants?

0:28.0

Well, what am I going to do? Put my whole life on hold, just because I think I'm going to ship my pants,

0:33.8

Sean.

0:34.8

Women have to deal with their periods striking at any moment.

0:37.8

But you can, it's like the male period.

0:40.0

Yeah, the alcoholic. That's why I carry around a bunch of tampons in my glove box.

0:45.7

Shove up your ass?

0:46.7

Yeah.

0:47.7

It's in case.

0:55.0

I just bust a tamp open,

0:57.0

shove it up the old caster.

0:58.8

Why don't you, you got, you have a truck, why don't, in the passenger floorboard, Why don't you just carry like a home depot five gallon bucket?

1:06.6

Come on, please.

1:08.1

Pull over really quick. I can't put that anywhere. Put your hazards on. Oh, just pop a squat. What if I'm right in the middle of traffic though nobody's gonna see you you're in a truck that why not

1:17.6

How am I gonna drive and shit at the same time you pull over emergency pullover drive and get a blow job at the same time.

1:23.4

You think I could shit at the same time?

1:24.9

I don't think so.

1:25.6

Well, not the three, but at least the two.

1:27.6

What?

...

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