Took you one minute and twelve seconds to tell one joke. It's too long.

No, I didn't. I didn't.

Comedy is about timing, son.

Timing. You gotta get him. You gotta tell him.

Okay.

Work on your speed.

TVTL!

You come out. You say hello. You start the show. Here's the show. What's the mystery?

It all people think I'm fancy, but I like nothing more than to end the day with one of these fine hamburger sandwiches from the good people at the McDonald's.

I'm a simple man. I like pretty dark-haired women and breakfast food.

I've got it here. What is going on? What do you got here? A thunder hurricane going on? A thunder blizzard hurricane.

Let's get to the good stuff here.

The good stuff that starts right here right now on this Monday afternoon edition of TVTL, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

I have an idea, man. Michael, I think I've proved that with f***ing mountain.

My name is Luke Furbank. I'm your host.

This is episode 1,236 in a collector's series.

Hi, this is Luke's Mom Suzy coming tonight on TVTL.

It's the end of the world, but I feel fine. We will in light of the fact that this is apparently, according to some people, the last week in human existence.

We'll talk with our dear friend Jen Flash Andrews about the time that she had a sense that things were going pretty far south for humankind.

And in fact, even made some pretty drastic adjustments to her life based on that.

And then, well, as you can remember, because you're not living currently in a cave, it didn't happen, the way that some people expected.

We will talk about that and other delights. In fact, let's not delay any longer.

...