I have represented our party twice on the county ballot in both the primary and the general elections,

and I will not apologize for my tone tonight. I have been a Republican. It doesn't go in,

and I have been a Republican. It doesn't matter!

Albert Einstein issued one of my most favorite quotes in the history of the spoken word,

and it is as follows. In the middle of opportunity, excuse me, in the middle of difficulty lies

an opportunity. I'm going to repeat that, so I have clarity tonight. In the middle of

my difficulty lies opportunity. This is the opportunity we've been waiting for.

I will certify the results after all the precincts have reported. A final tally within 1% will trigger

an automatic recount. In the event of an exact tie, the seat is awarded to the male candidate,

and the female candidate is put in jail. Once again, I have to object. I don't think it would hold

up in court, but it is city law. It makes no difference between one of us who vote for.

By the way, your candidate is doomed. DOOMED! You just woke up this morning,

and suddenly decided to run for president? I mean, you can practically smell the bills becoming

laws. You can taste the sweet sugar of bureaucracy at work. Don't understand why we have

the builder ray gun to aim at a planet I never even heard of. Don't blame me, I voted

precoto. The thing is, those people on that far away planet, they hate our freedom, and so we

well, we had no choice. We had to go after them. And you have no choice, my dear friendos,

but to listen to this here, a Tuesday afternoon edition of TBTL, a very special election day,

2012 edition of the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Do you think people will vote

for me? Heck yes! My name is Luke Burbank. It's episode 1206 in a collector series thrilled to have

you here. I guess talking about the fact that there's a big series of elections today,

and we'll also be calling up one of our listeners who's in Massachusetts, who's, I don't know if he's

...