I like your nurses uniform guy. These are OR scrubs. Oh are they? Well, they're totally inappropriate for the occasion. Well, I didn't know we were going to dinner.

That's because you weren't invited. Take it easy, Pax.

You were the one that ordered him whiskey inside. So what's wrong with that? I can write a hit play. Why can't I have a little drink ton one myself?

So tell me, Curly, how do you know him is cross? We went to Harvard together. Well, that's great. I wrote a hit play and directed it.

So I'm not sweating it either. Can we get a short play?

Hey folks, welcome to a Thursday afternoon edition of TBTL. This is the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

If you're watching an HD, I apologize.

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host weighing in at 186 pounds.

Oh, indeed.

This is episode 1,083 in a collector's series.

Hi, this is Luke's mom, Susie, coming tonight on TBTL.

So there's a report out that John Waters, yes. The John Waters?

I am John Waters and I'm looking for a date with you. Come on over. Let's listen to some tunes.

The John Waters is just hitchhiking across America right now for anyone to pick up.

We'll have a report from the road. Also, I'm scheduled to take part in an eating contest tomorrow, which has me feeling a little bit nervous.

My boss says he can eat 50 eggs. He can eat 50 eggs.

Eggs would be one thing. It's cheeseburgers that I've committed to.

My mouth may have written a check that my stomach can't cash.

My boss says he can eat 50 eggs. He can eat 50 eggs.

I will be singing plastic Jesus after I can turn with this contest tomorrow.

And I met Lewis Black last night and interviewed him.

And he was awesome.

...