We need the pages, especially Kenneth. He, uh, well, he, uh, he always scratches that weird part of my back that I can't reach.

Unless...

Oh! That's the business! Now, who's in charge winter dryness?

TVTL!

We are. The answer is, we are. Hey, everybody. Welcome to a Friday afternoon edition of TVTL. This is the show that's probably too beautiful to live.

I just want to talk. There's nothing to do with mating.

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

Things are going to start happening to me now.

Uh, this is episode 1,064 in a collector series. I'm weighing it at 185 pounds.

Pretty! Pretty! Pretty! Pretty good.

I will say it came as a total shock to me this morning because yesterday, and I was taking one for the team.

I don't care if people believe me or not, but on the radio show, they brought in these delicious but incredibly caloric and

carb-tastic sandwich things that they've named after our radio show, having to do with a promotion they're doing.

Anyway, I had only one choice and that was to eat the sandwich on the air noisily so as to make everything entertaining.

And yet, even with that, I'm 185, so I'm feeling pretty good about that.

I'm also feeling good about the fact that our good friend...

New ham, sure!

Producer Andrew Walsh is back who I was considering maybe hiring as a bodyguard for a while, but then somebody thought that was a bad idea.

Check this out, bodyguard, you're fired, and I hope his wife kicks his oak-coly.

Yeah, I think you're due for an oak-coly kicking.

She never has my back. Never has my back for anything.

Hey, um, how are you feeling, man?

...