Hey, it's Luke Burbank. I'm somewhere wishing I was eating carbs. I hope you're enjoying this best of TVTL.

I'm Jerry Springer and I want to be your governor, which makes what I'm about to tell you even more difficult.

Some nine years ago, I spent time with a woman I shouldn't have, and I paid her with a check.

I wish I hadn't done that, and the truth is, I wish no one would ever know.

TVTL!

We can't keep it a secret any longer. We're just bursting with this Wednesday afternoon edition of TVTL.

This is the show that's probably too beautiful to live.

I'm not handling this well. I don't feel competent. I'm depressed. I'm slouching.

I'm your host, Luke Burbank, owing in at 186 pounds. This is episode 759 in a collector series.

Coming tonight on TVTL.

Coming today on TVTL. Someone should really tell my mom the shows not on it any longer.

Coming today on TVTL, our regrets are fascinating.

We have found through careful scientific study that the two things you really like are when we tell stories about our own lives

and also when we talk about major life mistakes that we have made.

And so we thought, and this is the TVTLathon week, and we're asking you for money.

So you got my money?

We thought that we would bring together those two great tastes that you love, and we would tell stories about our biggest regrets.

And we hope that you will enjoy it, because it's embarrassing for us, but hopefully it's mildly entertaining for you.

I love Jesus, but I drink a little.

Speaking of someone who's always more than mildly entertaining, Jen Flash Andrews joins us from Fort Wayne, Indiana, the long time producer of the program. Hi, Jen.

Hi, Luke.

How are you?

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