Do we need a new definition of sex? That's what we're going to be talking about on today's

edition of our To Love, Honor, and Vacuum podcast, the place where we try to see marriage

as less of a to-do list and more as a passionate adventure. I'm

Sheila Ray Greg Warren for the last couple of weeks on the blog at to lovehonored

vacuum.com I've been looking at how God designed sex to be a mutual thing. It's supposed to be a deep knowing and

it's supposed to be mutual in every way. Unfortunately though, the way that we

talk about sex in the church often forgets that mutuality

and instead tends to portray sex as something that men need physically and there's

really not a whole lot else to it and that can lead to a lot of difficult marriage issues.

This week I ended our series on how to redefine sex and I summed everything up and I'd like to look at

some of those issues and talk about how our definition of sex that we commonly

use is actually not the biblical one.

So let's jump in.

When I was first married, sex hurt.

I had full-blown vaginousness and to even have sex caused me such tremendous pain I would have to hold back the sobs.

And yet we did over and over again.

And we didn't do it because my husband was pressuring me.

We did it because I was pressuring myself.

Why was I doing that? I've spent a couple of decades trying to figure that out, and it's only

been recently that I've got a

whole new level of insight into what little 21 year old me was thinking because

back then I was seeing marriage counselors who were telling me it was okay to stop

...