This is an IHeart podcast.

Guaranteed Human.

And I'm worried because obsessed date wants to buy my love and then it got creepy.

Why do they always got to go creepy?

They shower you with diamonds and earrings and then they're trying to give you another golden shower.

Oh goodness gracious.

It might be warm, but it ain't friendly. That's not the warm love that I need in my life. Or is it? Hey, I'm not here to kink shame. If you want a service, John has a nice tarp and a full bladder. So you know who to call. Don't look at me. All right. I met this guy about three months ago.

We'll call him Bob.

Bob.

Bob and I met on a dating app and we hooked up.

I made it clear from the start.

I was just looking for hookups.

Nothing serious.

We had a good time.

And I said I would like to keep hanging out as friends or friends with benefits.

Oh, Bob got that D, baby. Big B got that big D. He said he was okay with this. Bob.

For the next few weeks, he showered me in gifts constantly and admitted that he was into me.

None of this is stuff I asked for and I made it clear, Bob, I am not into you.

Anyone's listening to this is named Bob. I'm sorry, Bob, I could be into you, but this Bob, not

into you. Let the record show, I hate all Bob's. Hey, old Bob's. Have you seen like the India memes

where it's like send Bob's? There's like a whole Facebook group of like these like guys

sending like please send bobs over like I am or something I made it clear I still wasn't into him

...