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Guaranteed Human.

I forced a teenage girl to step on a scale to make sure she wasn't too fat for the water slide.

And I'm ashamed by the results.

Oh, God.

You know, you know what, Sam?

For my prediction, you know, I would love to say, I would love to say A-Hull.

I would love to say it.

But you know, Sam?

Hey, safety, John.

Safety.

I cannot ignore the potential of the safety concern.

There are weight limits to things for a reason.

Americans are breaking records all the time.

I guess if I'm forcing my own hand on a prediction, I guess I'll say not the A-hole for safety.

It's unfortunate, but here we are in America.

I work as a lifeguard at a water park, and part of my job includes managing the top of water slides.

Very precarious position right there.

I'm there to make sure no one does anything dangerous,

like going face first, which I love to do, dude. I love it. I was a face first freaking dude.

I would go whisk. Or cramming too many people on an inner tube, etc. I'm also instructed to ask

anyone who looks like they can be over the weight limit, which is 250 pounds, to weigh themselves

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