This is an I-Heart podcast. Guaranteed Human. I think my wife is about to be fired. I ruined the dinner with her boss in the worst way imaginable. Should I find a divorce lawyer? You know we always say, get a divorce as early as possible. Yeah, be proactive. Yeah, that's what we always say. Cut your losses. Yeah, come on. Cause. Yeah. As soon as there is a problem, divorce. Like, honey, you forgot to make coffee for me? Divorce. Divorce. Divorce. I don't need you. Honey, I wish you would make the bed in the morning. Divorce. I need to marry a robot that will make the coffee and the bed for me. Of course. It's coming around the corner. Boston Dynamics mixed with Chad GPT. You got the perfect wife and husband, perfect lover. You see how those Boston Dynamics things move. You know what I mean? They can throw it back for sure. They're there. They're getting rompy in the sheets. So last night, my wife's boss from her brand new job invited us over for dinner. On the drive over, my wife reiterated many times to me just how important it was to make a good

impression.

I scoffed and arrogantly informed my silly wife that I always make good impressions.

That's how you know he's going to crush it.

Yeah, yeah.

That's being super pompous and egotistical.

Exactly.

Makes the best impression. Yeah. My wife's boss is a single lady in her 50s. So it was just the three of us. We chit-chatted over drinks and salads and seemed to be really hitting it off. She laughed at my well-timed and perfectly appropriate jokes. And my wife seemed pleased. Okay, so it's all going well.

Going well so far, right?

Nothing could go wrong from here.

But then we hooked up now.

I married my wife's boss right on the spot.

I proposed right then and there.

I knew she was the lady for me.

And asked my wife to officiate the wedding.

Soon she brought out the main course,

a nice, big, juicy steak for each of us. As I began to cut into my steak, I was discouraged

to discover how undercooked the steak was. Now, I've had my fair share of rare steak. I prefer

medium, but I can handle rare. This was several minutes on a hot grill

short of rare. I probably could have resuscitated the cow had I tried. I like my steak

rare though. I like it bleeding. Yeah? Yeah. It makes sense. It all connects. My vampire teeth.

Look at these things. I sat there fidgeting with my knife and fork, worrying about how I was going to get away

...