The Republican Party is already looking ahead to the next presidential election. Republican

National Committee Chairman Goofy T. Cluelis says they have a deep pool of candidates who will

stir up the same kind of enthusiasm and loyalty as Donald Trump. In an interview with his official

casick for President Teddy Bear, Mr. Cluelis said, quote,

I think we need to go back to the successes of the past. Remember, Jeb, exclamation point?

How many candidates are so exciting? They actually have an exclamation point after their name.

Not many believe you me. If we can get Jeb back in the game, I think we might run the entire gamut

of punctuation marks, which is something our voters care very passionately about.

Unquote. GOP strategist Rick Wilson also chimed in, issuing a statement from a bath filled with

pieces of silver stamped vote for Joe and saying quote, everywhere you look, voters are breathing

a tremendous sigh of relief that the hitlerian reign of Donald Trump is over. You can see them

pouring into the street in their tens of thousands, waving the Donald Trump flags. I'm sure they're

carrying out to the trash. I warned them about Trump's burning the Reichstag. His authoritarian

refusal to expand the power of the federal government and his corrupt gathering of wealth through

betrayal and lies. Oh, wait, that last one was me. Still, now that none of my warnings has come

true, I'm sure CNN will be turning to me to ask how the GOP can move forward. Unquote.

Other establishment Republicans around the country have also contributed suggestions,

including a Romney and the corpse of John McCain ticket, although some object that the corpse

of McCain lost when he ran last time, they're also considering the new campaign slogan,

vote Republican. We won't destroy your freedom quite as fast as the Democrats and to generate some

of that Trump-like excitement. They're also looking at other TV personalities like Bill Crystal

and the tentacled mind-flair from Stranger Things. But I repeat myself, trigger warning, I'm Andrew

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