Many people are asking, where does the presidential race stand at this hour?

And the answer is, shut up and mind your own business.

What the hell do you think you are, butting into the deep and important workings of government?

Do you have any idea how complicated that is?

You think you can be done by just any Tom Dick or Harry and don't even get me started

on women trying to figure it out?

Listen, when we said this was government of the people, we didn't mean just any people.

We meant the right people, experts, people who went to good schools and wear nice suits

and dockers with no socks.

Just because you got out of bed this morning, look down and happen to find your feet standing

in the freest constitutional republic on the face of the earth.

That doesn't mean you can just go swaggering around behaving like you're in the freest constitutional

republic on the face of the earth.

It's more like just kind of a brand name.

You can rest assured that behind the cardboard partitions we've pasted over the government

buildings so no one can see inside, we are counting these votes in the most honest possible

way to get to the best possible outcome.

The Secretary of States were handling the task or some of our finest immigrants from

Venezuela and Myanmar, like Juan El Corrupto and Michigan and Angmenz, Sway, Theo Van

Chichu in the great, great state of Pennsylvania.

You can rest assured that these people will not stop counting the votes.

They accidentally left in the trunks of their cars until Joe Biden is president or lunch

...