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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 99 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Ari Shaffir & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave

Society & Culture, Comedy

4.823.2K Ratings

🗓️ 20 September 2021

⏱️ 108 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

SPONSORS: - Go to https://EstablishedTitles.com/BEARS to become a Lord today and get 10% off. - Go to https://babbel.com and use promo code BEARS for an extra three months of Babbel FREE. - Head to https://PolicyGenius.com/CAVE to get started right now. Policygenius. When it comes to insurance, it’s nice to get it right. - Go to https://WHOOP.com and use code “Bears” at checkout to save yourself 15% off today. - Get 20% Off + Free Shipping at https://Manscaped.com/BEARS - Go to https://Amazon.com/CAVE to try Amazon Music Unlimited FREE for 30 days! - Visit https://SimpliSafe.com/bears for 20% off your entire new system and your first month of monitoring service FREE, when you enroll in Interactive Monitoring. Ari Shaffir sits in for Tom Segura with Bert Kresicher for this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. Ari and Bert discuss the "NYC Still Rising After 20 Years" comedy benefit at Madison Square Garden that Tom performed at. They try to guess the lineup which also included Jimmy Fallon, Jon Stewart, Pete Davidson, Amy Schumer, Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, Bill Burr, John Mulaney and many more. Bert shares a video from a surfer who talks about exploiting places you visit, which leads to a conversation about geo-tagging. They also talk Bert's Red Rocks show, Sober October, ugly people wearing face masks, and debate about which of them is the better backgammon player.

Transcript

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0:00.0

And we did the first weight loss challenge. And I remember I was like I think I'm gonna fucking lose this challenge

0:04.9

I'm not doing it the right way. I'm doing it the wrong way and it's you're not gonna win with the wrong way

0:09.0

I go wrong. I was taking Xanax and ambien like offsetting them so I'd sleep and just not eat that way

0:18.8

100%

0:24.6

Pull up the fucking lineup

0:26.6

You're telling me that Dave she bells it only they had to figure out how to get the super long top and make it fair for everybody else

0:34.3

And so see they did it with C pull it up. Let me see so it's got to be Colin Quinn's get the bottom Colin Quinn's at the bottom

0:41.0

David tells gotta be number one. Yeah, Ronnie Chang uses spell his name C.H.A.N.G

0:45.4

They made him change it for for this thing. That's truth. I can pull it up in the dove

0:51.8

Thompson to hey guys new two bears one cave. Okay. Oh, that's his

0:55.3

Garden Dave Sheppell lineup. This is it that's a msg

0:59.2

MSG is it's interesting. That's also something they put in Asian food

1:02.9

Dave oh so she pal didn't do it is it is it is it is

1:06.2

Dave it's hell bill. Oh, so the ship hell wasn't up. Yeah, no that's oh so they did do it

1:10.1

I guess that is a shit show because you're like who does go on top who does let's me and you do this right Chang spells

1:16.6

His name here we go. We're wrong. Yeah, okay this let's get in trouble with friends. Okay, are we doing it by billing or who should open?

1:24.2

Who should who should oh we're gonna go who closes it and Duke and who's no one's

1:29.2

Pal that might go four hours so no one's no way I'm gonna

1:34.1

Burr has gotta go late you can't yeah, but you can't put him right before she pal you could are there

1:40.7

intermissions

1:41.8

Do remember when I was doing this not happy the live ones and there was one

1:44.4

It was just a stack lineup and it was like Rogan burr. Maybe you all in one and then I was burr

...

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