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Slack.com slash DHQ. In the aftermath of this week's tumultuous debate, the Commission

on Presidential Debates has announced it is changing the debate rules. The Commission,

which was first formed in Portugal in 1476, in hopes there would one day be a country

where a wild-eyed real estate developer could beat the living crap out of a sad old man

while the entire population looked on and horror, then turn the channel to see what else

was on. Consists of five members, according to the Commission's charter, must include at

least one lesbian, two dentists, a ballet dancer named Leopold and a Romanian, all of them

played by Chaktad. They meet in a secret fortress nestled in the specter-haunted crags of

mountain meaningless where they are licensed by magic dwarves to craft the debate rules

in such a way as to make both the rules and the debates themselves completely irrelevant.

After this week's debacle, which the Commission members considered one of their best, the Commission

issued the following amendments. One, from now on, whenever Donald Trump is making a

good point anywhere in the country, Chris Wallace will jump out suddenly from various different

locations and shout Boga Boga in an attempt to throw Trump off his game. Two, future debates

will be moderated by Steve Scully and Kristen Welkin, except when Chris Wallace is required

to jump out shouting Boga Boga. Three, next time Joe Biden will have to allow everyone

to hear the cues coming in over his secret headset and to make that more entertaining,

...