A new poll shows Joe Biden would defeat Donald Trump if the election were held today in a science fiction horror movie

where all the people have been taken over by space plants and have either become mindless zombie-like creatures

or CNN viewers or both.

According to the poll from the dog face pony souls or polling agency,

53% of voters are hoping either to vote for Biden on election day or be swept up to heaven in the rapture,

whichever is less expensive.

17% of voters want Biden elected because it's just been such a depressing year and they could use a good laugh.

22% of voters want Biden to win because it's about time seen how people broke the glass ceiling that for so long

has prevented them from sitting in the Oval Office, drooling and muttering completely incomprehensible nonsense.

And 9% want Biden to win because he cares about people like them who also don't know where they are or what they're talking about.

The remaining 5% are CIA agents who want to run the country and feel that Donald Trump is standing in their way.

There's still an enthusiasm gap between Biden and Trump.

21% of Biden voters say they'll make the effort to vote for him if they wake up in the morning and find themselves at a polling place with a marker in their hands.

12% say they'll vote for him if someone will drive them to the polls and give them $1,000.

8% say they'll vote for him if a grizzly bear is chasing them in the only place they can find to hide is the elementary school where they think they voted last time, though they're not sure.

And the remaining 8% say they'll vote for Biden by mail now that they're dead and Democrats copied their name off their headstone.

Joe Biden says he found the polls encouraging that he's still planning to vote for that aren't yet fellow because he seems nice.

Trigger warning, I'm Andrew Clayvin and this is the Andrew Clayvin Show.

All right, the vast right wing conspiracy known as Clayvin on continues laughing our way through the fall of the Republic.

You know, I've been telling you all this time to subscribe to my Andrew Clayvin YouTube channel.

And here's the reason as of no September 28th, my YouTube podcast will be moving off the daily wire YouTube channel.

They no longer want to be associated with me.

...