The Academy of Motion Pictures, Arts and Sciences

has developed a new inclusion requirement

for Oscar-nominated films.

The Academy says it wants to make sure

the winning films contain significant roles

for groups who are underrepresented in Hollywood

like moral people and people who know what they're talking about.

The new inclusion rules reaction to the Oscars

so white controversy that erupted in 2015

after it was discovered that even though black people

were winning Oscars at a rate representative

of their numbers in the general population,

Will Smith had been passed over for that crappy film concussion,

no one saw, and his wife was going to make a big racial stink about it.

Because of the new inclusion rule,

there will now be several more categories of nomination,

which means the awards program will expand from five and a half hours

to infinity and the audience will drop from no one to literally no one.

Among the new categories will be best film containing two Latinos

and Asian who doesn't use a computer,

a woman who identifies as a man and is played by a man who identifies as a woman

and is therefore actually a man who identifies as a man

...