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Slack.com slash DHQ. The following may contain satire that will

offend absolutely everyone. I want to apologize in advance for the fact that I don't care.

Legal scholars have invented a new party game in which they read the latest opinion of

Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts and try to determine what if anything it means.

The Society of Lawyers trying to figure out what this gothless wonder is rambling on

about, or a slat-fo-wag-gra, as it's commonly known among legal scholars after a couple

of drinks, then publishes the transcript of the opinion, along with their notes written

in the margin using excrement and rotten tomato juice. Roberts' latest opinion strikes down

a Louisiana law that required abortion clinics to limit their murderous rampages to children,

while sparing the lives of the women seeking abortions. The majority determined that the

law placed an undue burden on psychopathic serial killers who went to all the trouble of

getting a medical degree in order to carry out their strange obsession with snuffing out

the lives of helpless infants. Specifically, the law places a substantial obstacle in the

way of these blood-drenched schools by requiring them to preserve the lives of the women inside

whom the infants are trying desperately to hide. Roberts had dissented when a similar

law in Texas was struck down, but now says that while that law shouldn't have been struck

down, this law should be struck down because that law was struck down.

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