After several days of peaceful protests that have left major cities and flames,

Democrats have released a new position paper entitled Helping Black Americans by Helping White

Americans Feel Better about not helping black Americans. The Democrats say the paper lays out

an ambitious progressive plan to continue doing exactly what they've been doing until the entire

country is in ashes. Bain, the Batman comic supervillain and chairman of the Democrat National Committee,

released the paper to those of his minions who call themselves the press in an attractive

folder with a cover depicting a gothic scene of chaos, captioned our vision for the future.

The plan includes the following points. One, young white men will dance to exciting

rap music, glorifying black violence and degrading black women, and then return home to their

moms and dads to prepare for college, while young black men and broken homes learn to glorify

violence and think badly of women. Two, white men will apologize to blacks for generations of

bigotry and then return home to their wives and children while blacks return to their crime-filled

neighborhoods, thinking to themselves, wow, they sure apologized to us, didn't they? Three, elites

will teach blacks that their country was founded on racism and despises them, so they have no chance

to have a good life through education, hard work, and good behavior. Then the elites will return

to the great jobs they earned through education, hard work, and good behavior while blacks despair

because they think their country despises them. Four, whites will encourage blacks to demonstrate

about things everyone already agrees about and will then encourage violence at those demonstrations

to show how woke they are while destroying black people's property and reputation. And five,

whites will encourage blacks to vote against Donald Trump who might saddle them with those nasty

jobs working for the white men for money and dignity. After releasing the document,

Bane urged all Americans to continue wearing a mask like his to protect from disease and to

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