As the Wig-In draws near and the apocalyptic shadow of a clavin-less America darkens the

political landscape, it's time to take a look at the week gone by and assess where we stand

through the clarifying lens of our hysterical tears.

The important question to ask today is this, if Donald Trump is Biff from back to the

future, and Bernie Sanders is Doc Brown after he returned from the 1930s as a craze socialist,

is it possible we can induce Marty McFly to run for president in his previous role as Alex

Keaton, the conservative from family ties?

Okay, possibly that's not the important question to ask today.

Possibly that's not even a question we have to ask at all.

But how about this one?

Since Clint Eastwood has endorsed Donald Trump, and Chuck Norris has endorsed Ted Cruz, shouldn't

the entire election be decided through a cage match between Sylvester Stallone and Arnold

Schwarzenegger?

Or perhaps we should ask if Donald Trump is elected president, should Ben Higgins give

the rose to Hillary Clinton on the bachelor?

Maybe the real question is, have I fallen into my television set, and if so could someone

cut a hole in the screen and let me back into reality, where statesmen like ladies and

gentlemen run for office while Boris, real estate developers, build garish casinos, and women

like Hillary Clinton spend their time rattling a tin cup against the bars of their cell and

screaming, you lousy screw, when I get out of here, I'll make you wish you'd never been

born.

Or maybe that's not reality.

...